It wasn't like I'm constantly worried about such things. But my subconscious mind has always been sending this signal. It's more than often that I have such dream, only in little variations, mostly are the same in essence. What could have triggered these thoughts, that I have no answers to. It could have been the insecurity that one might feel for a true love.
It felt so real I thought my heart has shattered into million small pieces. What's heartbreaking more than anything is the fact that he was so cool about it and show little sympathy for what we've had for the past 12 years and that he was so into someone else and that I became redundant in his life.
I would never be ready for this day in life. Never. It's frustrating I had so many of such dreams that make me cry in the dream and out, to a point that I no longer cry in it. Its rather a head full of questions, the final acceptance to how things are actually over between us and the numbness that one usually gets from the level of pain that went beyond the threshold.
There was no explanation in the dream. He didn't have to, I wouldn't want him to, or rather, I wouldn't want to hear something that would never make sense to me. True love to me is all about loving, caring, understanding, needing, appreciating each other, being a true companion, being faithful to each other and to not let anything else get in the way. It definitely isn't something that changes thru time nor along with the environment. May be I'm the hopeless romantic but leaving someone who loves you with all their heart just because you found someone else is just too cruel.
